Neku and Joshua Go to the Beach and Stuff Happens
by ItsRagtime
Summary: Also there is a conflict.
1. The Part Where Neku Nearly Drowns

The pink Post-It note read:

"_Dearest Neku,_

_ One would not be far off to compare, say, friendship, to an adorable puppy. Both, one could say, are vigorously sought after, yet equally difficult to tame. Understanding either is nigh impossible. (Though it is fun to put little bows on them sometimes, and do their hair in little foofs.)_

_ And so, it is both with a conscious misunderstanding of the workings of friendship and in said virtue's name that I have stolen your headphones and will be waiting for you at the beach if you want to receive them._

_Joshua"_

While not the most friendly or conventional of invitations, a king without his crown is like a musician who cannot play, or to be more precise, like a boy named Neku who cannot play his favorite tunes and jam out all wicked-nasty like. So it was with a mixture of reluctance and utter determination that this victim of friendship gone desperate to the point of such blackmail stepped into his plum-colored J of the M swim trunks, not without pondering the skills required to fit such a lengthy message in gel pen all on one miniature Post-It note, and headed out the door.

In typical summer fashion, the boiling sun hit Neku's pale skin like an unwelcome blanket, and in the cloudless blue sky, it gave a glare so lethal he had to squint to see two steps in front of him. Beach goers as tanned as toast chattering and milling around in the golden sand made him feel foreign with his clown-sized sneakers and the ashen stick figure that suggested Neku had never seen the outside of his apartment, let alone of his room. _Just get the phones and get out of here,_ he reminded himself dismally.

"Neku! Over here!" A familiar voice hollered out somewhere close to shore. He recognized it as Shiki's, and breathed a sigh of relief knowing Joshua hadn't just invited him out to an awkward day for just the two of them. He walked towards where she was sitting, sprawled out on a beach towel underneath an enormous green umbrella. Stacked next to her was a pile of magazines with girly headlines screaming things like "this season's hottest fashion," "ultimate bffl quiz" and "topless Prince pics." The latter of the three was probably Joshua's, Neku thought, unsure of whether he was holding back a laugh or resisting the urge to throw up.

"Omigosh, Neku!" Shiki sat up a little and put down the novel she was reading to look at him. "I can't believe you came! Josh said he invited you, but I didn't really think you guys were that good of friends, so…" She eyed his oversized swimsuit and tried to hide a look of disgust. "Um… wow, _nice_ swim suit…"

"Thanks," he mumbled, completely missing her sarcastic vibe. "Hey, have you seen Joshua?" Neku looked around warily, though his search wasn't helped by the blinding sun.

"Yeah, I think he's over in the water, talking to Mr. H."

Neku wondered how he hadn't spied him earlier, as he began to wander in the direction of the waves. Josh was the only one here besides Neku who was as pale as a snowman. There he stood, wading where the water came up to his kneecaps, next to Mr H., drifting on an inflatable raft. Neku saw Josh point to him as he approached, and felt like turning on his heel and running back to Shiki, but something told him that for his beloved phones, a minute with Joshua might be on the margin of "worth it." Maybe.

No. No it wasn't. Just hearing Joshy's high-pitched giggle reminded him how much he didn't want to be around this guy.

"Oh, Neku, how nice of you to join us," Josh Joshua'd. " I'm flattered you accepted my invitation."

Neku looked ready to punch him. "Give me my headphones, Josh."

"Aw, but Neku, you just arrived. I'd be so disappointed if you left right now." He made a pouty face and touched Neku on the shoulder, causing him to recoil.

"Josh—"

"Come on, Phones," Mr. H. said, "live a little! J's been telling me you've been avoiding him for a while. You're not going back to the old you, are ya?"

"No, Mr. H.—" So Josh had already gotten Hanekoma on his side.

"Ha ha ha! Come on, Phones, enjoy the moment! J's your friend, ain't he?"

"Not really…" He felt the familiar ghostly hand on his shoulder as Joshua pulled him away towards deeper waters with a smile. "Let's do something fun, Neku." Neku shuddered at the thought of Joshua's idea of "fun." _I'm not rubbing sunscreen on his back, if that's what he wants. _The incessant giggling wasn't inspiring much confidence either.

"Josh, what are you—"

The next thing he felt was a forceful shove followed by a faceful of water. Although Neku struggled to swim to surface, it is a well-known fact to the scientific community that Nekus can't swim. He wiggled around like a flamenco dancer and waved his arms wildly, but to no avail. Trails of bubbles fled from his lips. _Is this it? Am I going to die here?_ His body brushed against the sea floor.

And then he stood up, upon realizing the water was only about four feet deep. He whirled around, ready to strangle Joshua. Neku didn't care if the kid was the composer, the fact remained that drowning was not fun. Joshua had a hand on his chin and kept an innocent face, raising his eyebrows as if daring Neku to do something about it.

"What the hell, Josh!"

"Jumping to conclusions, are we? I'm offended that you think I would push you." He put a hand on his heart dramatically. "Really now, Neku, that would be rude of me. And I'd never do anything rude to my best friend Neku." Because, of course, stealing one's headphones and using them as bait is perfectly polite. Cause they're friends.

There was a deep, yet nasally laugh from behind Neku, but he didn't have to turn around to know whose it was.

"Bwahahaha! Damn, Phones, you swim like a girl!" Beat was holding his stomach, doubled over with laughter. "I didn't even push you that hard, yo!"

"Ah, there's our culprit," said Josh with feigned surprise. "You see, Neku, if you had been a bit more observant, then—"

"Shut UP, Josh." He had had enough of this. "Where are my headphones?" But Josh only smiled and giggled to himself. "You don't need headphones to swim, Neku," he said, playfully splashing the irritated redhead. _Too bad I'm not swimming,_ Neku thought.

"Yeah, Phones, dun be a wuss." Beat hit him on the back, though lacking in Joshua's grace, the blow sent Neku falling face-first into the water. His two friends nearly died laughing.

"Neku, hehe, are we going to need a paper weight? You seem to have trouble, hehehe, standing up today." If it weren't for the fact his headphones were exclusively designed by CAT and damned expensive, Neku might've just forgotten about them. But he had to try. There was no way these two could win over him.

Neku frowned a frowny frown. He took a deep breath, put his hand in the water and anchored his feet into the ground. _If they want me to play along, then fine. I'll make the most out of this._

And then he splashed Joshua in the face.

"BWAAHAAHAHAAAH! PHONES GOT YOU GOOD, PRISSY!" Beat looked like he was going to pass out for lack of air, he was laughing so hard. His massive foghorn laughter caught the attention of nearby swimmers, who looked at them scornfully. "Kids, these days," they (probably) scoffed (I'm not an omniscient narrator, here).

If Neku had ever seen Josh angry before, it was nothing compared to what he saw now. Teeth clenched and distressed hands running over his soaking wet hair, what at first appeared to be surprise in his eyes quickly turned to unfathomable rage. His eyebrows furrowed. "How could you, Neku?"

"Like this." Neku hit him with another wall of water, earning a round of Beat's roaring laughter. "Did you catch that?"

"_Yes, Neku. Yes I did._"

"Gonna do something about it?" He folded his arms with a smug come-at-me-bro look on his face.

And yes, Joshua did something.


	2. The Part Where Sho is a Lifeguard

Shiki looked up from her book. She had realized she was the only one of her friends who had come to the beach today, yet was nowhere near the water. "I should go help Rhyme with her sand castle," she said, standing up and heading to the shore. Children were scattered everywhere, some collecting shells and rocks, some playing in the sand, some, including a familiar pair of fifth graders, having bouts of Tin Pin Slammer. Rhyme was building a large formation of sand, while a tall man with massive black tattoos and shaggy gray hair shouted things at her through a megaphone.

"YOU BRAINLESS BINOMIAL! YOU CALL THAT BEAUTY?"

"No, I call it a sand castle. Now would you please go away?" Always at the epitome of fashion, Rhyme wore a pink polka-dotted swim cap and a mismatching orange one piece suit. She was on her knees in front of her creation, a castle with a few jutting -out feathers and rocks.

Shiki approached the pair with caution, her arms wrapped around her chest, as though shielding herself from the non-existent cold. "Um, Rhyme? Who's this man?"

"I think he's the lifeguard." Shiki now noticed that the strange, scary man wore a whistle around his neck, red trousers, and even the signature smattering of sunscreen on his nose. She turned and asked him why he was degrading a young girl's sand castle and not actually saving any lives.

"Zetta moron!" he answered. "I'm saving a life right now!"

Shiki raised an eyebrow. She wondered just who hired this man and trusted him enough to put the lives of others in his large, tan, tattooed and bracelet-wearing hands. "Whose life?"

The lifeguard laughed through the microphone, raising his other hand to complete the odd, mismatched picture of an evil villain's maniacal laughter. Now all he needed was the lightning.

"WHOSE LIFE AM I SAVING?" he bellowed. "MINE! I'm protecting myself from the beauty-less creations of you zeroes!" He took a sharp intake of air. "ATTENTION ALL HECTOPASCALS! IT'S (x 4) YOUR MINDLESS MATRICES TO FOLLOW MY AESTHETIC! ANY INSUFFICIENT SANDCASTLES WILL BE THROWN INTO THE IMAGINARY PLANE!" With a sweep of his booted foot, he destroyed Rhyme's sand castle. "QED. CLASS IS DISMISSED!" And with that, the lifeguard marched off, likely to ruin another child's happiness for his own benefit.

While most kids might've cried just then or at least have looked baffled at the incredulous situation, Rhyme had expected this and brushed off the whole affair with a sigh. "It wasn't that good anyway," she said, when Shiki expressed her outrage at the man's actions. "I can just build another one."

But Shiki didn't have time to retort – something else caught her notice. Something like a high pitched scream accompanied by an even higher-pitched scream, both coming from the water. She turned to look, just as Beat came running frantically to the shore. He looked too phased to say anything, and the reason was what was happening behind him, in the distance.

One furious Joshua Kiryu, with his sopping wet hair pinned to the sides of his face, was batting at the water like a madman at one Neku Sakuraba, likewise slapping the water in an awkward but violent fashion.

"WORTHLESS LITTLE PIECE OF SNOT!" Splash. A flash of pale skin flitting in and out of the water.

"SELFISH, UNCIVILIZED MONSTER!" Flaring nostrils, pounding fists. A tornado of waves. Descriptive sentence fragments that sound like bad poetry.

"OBNOXIOUS, FLAMBOYANT, BUNNY PARKA-WEARING—"

"ANTI-SOCIAL, IGNORANT, CAT-WORSHIPPING…"

They paused to catch their breaths, pale chests heaving, eying each other savagely. Neku bared his teeth and raised a threatening fist, ready to pound it into the waves.

"I'M RUNNING OUT OF ADJECTIVES!" He started flapping his arms in the water again.

"ME TOO!" Josh followed suit.

"WELL… YOU SUCK!"

A well thought out insult as any. Joshua refused to take such a blow to his pride and go down without a fight. "OH YEAH? WELL, AT LEAST _I_ KNOW HOW TO DODGE A BULLET!" That was a hit below the belt. Shiki and Beat winced; they and Rhyme were watching every strike of the battle like it was a tennis match between an incompetent fifteen-year-old and a slightly less incompetent adult pretending to be a fifteen-year-old.

"OH YEAH?" Neku roared, quick to return the hit. "WELL… AT LEAST _I _DON'T SHOOT PEOPLE!" The crowd gasped in shock.

Josh stopped.

He had no response. He merely looked at Neku with more hatred than a Joshua should be capable of. Even the lifeguard had returned to see the brawl. Swimmers, builders, and slammers alike had all stopped their games and watched the two former friends have their little stare down. Mr. H. tried to sit up on his floatie and ended up turning the whole thing over and falling into the water.

"How could you… Neku?"

But Orangeylocks was still thirsty for blood. "AND I DON'T MAKE THEM PLAY A STUPID GAME FOR FOUR WEEKS, OR TAKE AWAY THEIR MEMORIES, OR THEIR FRIENDS!" Josh was stung.

"AND I DON'T PRETEND TO BE INNOCENT AND… AND… PRETEND TO SAVE THEM BUT REALLY JUST RUN AWAY AND LEAVE THEM, AND THEN SHOOT THEM AGAIN, AND, AND THREATEN TO TAKE AWAY EVERYTHING THEY KNOW AND LOVE, AND BREAK THEIR TRUST, AND—"

"Neku, stop!"

There were tears in both of their eyes. Shiki started running out towards them, followed by Beat and Rhyme. Mr.H. had been trying to get back on his raft and hadn't been paying attention, but was concerned after noticing the sudden silence, and hurried to the pair as well. As the crowd began to slowly dissipate, the insensitive lifeguard started screaming "ZETTA CRAWWWWLING INNNN MY SKINNNN" but was promptly elbowed in the face by a woman in black.

Mr. H. grabbed Neku by the shoulders gently. "Alright, alright. Calm down, boss. Let's get you dried off," he said, though as the boy was being dragged away, his eyes were still locked with Joshua's. Hanekoma turned his head and motioned for Josh to come too, leaving the three others behind with looks of confusion.

"Uhhhh…" Beat shifted his gaze and put a hand behind his head. "Wha just happened, yo?" Rhyme gave a sad sigh, watching Mr. H. and Neku reach the shore.

"I guess… Neku hasn't forgiven him yet."


	3. The Part Where They Kiss

The only sound was the soft trickling of fish swimming through the glass floor below them. From across the room, Neku sat on a cream couch, wrapped in a towel, still staring at Joshua, who likewise was eying Neku.

"So… did you make friends yet?" Mr. H. said with a smile, standing between them. Nobody answered. "Come on, you both have to apologize, so one of you is gonna have to go first. Phones? Didn't I teach you all this friendship stuff a while ago?"

Neku put his hands on his ears to drown him out. Where were those damn headphones when you needed them? Josh still hadn't given those back.

"J? Wanna tell Phones here you're sorry?" Josh growled at him in response, causing Mr. H. to heave a large sigh. "What am I going to do with you kids?"

"You could leave us alone," suggested Joshua.

"Yeah, cause I trust ya _so_ much. Both of you totally won't just rush out of here the moment I go."

Josh folded his arms. "It's not like you would't know where to find us."

"Him, maybe. You might jump into some other dimension and never come back. Which'd be a shame, since you're my best customer."

"Whatever." He drew out the word in a soulless sort of way. Mr. H. put a hand on his chin and sighed.

"Hmm… I'll give ya five minutes. If I come back and find you two gone, I'm not gonna be a happy Producer. Just apologize, ok? No biting." With that, he opened the large red doors of the Dead God's Pad and showed himself out.

There was an awkward moment of silence. Neku abruptly stood up, letting the wet towel fall to the floor, much to the interest of the fish.

Strangely enough, Neku wasn't entirely mad at Joshua. Something about the way they had acted exactly the same today, like – dare he say it – like… friends, made Josh seem much more approachable. Yet he still held the grudge of those four weeks. Friend or not, Joshua still hadn't mentioned them since the whole affair, let alone given an apology.

"Joshua."

"Neku," Josh said on nearly the same beat. He looked up at Neku with folded arms and his towel slung across his shoulders.

Neku awkwardly stepped around the table that divided them (no, that wasn't a bad metaphor). _Fucking cocktail table, _he said to himself, now standing directly in front of Joshua.

"JOSHUA.—"

"I'm not going to play this little game with you, Neku." Josh looked simply annoyed. Neku smirked, and replied:

"Funny, I thought you played games often – OH, NO, WAIT. THAT'S ME." He stuck his face in Josh's space bubble and looked him in his wide, orchid eyes. Josh slid a hand through his silky hair, which he had spent the past few hours washing, blow-drying, and gelling it back into its former shape.

"Neku," he sighed, "do you know why I invited you to the beach today?"

"To piss me off?" Exactly something normal Josh might do.

"No, Neku. Believe it or not, dear, I wanted to spend time with you." Neku found it hard to believe that his murderer wanted to spend any quality time, and gave Josh a skeptical look. "You see, I don't have a lot of people I care for, and—"

"So you stole my headphones to get me to come out there." Neku sat down on the low table. _And still haven't given them back, _he wanted to add.

"Would you have come if I had sent a normal invitation?"

"Well, no… but—"

Josh rolled his eyes. "But nothing." A sigh. "I'm just sorry things got so out of hand, People got in the way, you don't know how to swim, etc. etc. Not quite a happy day I had wanted for just the two of us, hmm? Though I knew you wouldn't have been very interested if your little friends weren't there. What to do…"

It was odd seeing Joshua act this way, Neku realized. Normal Joshua wouldn't have dared waste a breath on anything that wasn't bitingly sarcastic. This was the approachable Josh.

There was a short pause as he looked at Neku expectantly. "Well, Neku? I said my apology. Aren't you going to yours?" At last that familiar giggling lilt was returning to his voice.

But Neku merely raised his eyebrows at him. "Josh, were you listening to me at all when I yelled at you this afternoon?"

"Yes, unfortunately, I was."

"Mind telling me what I was mad about?" Neku was beginning to lose patience with this kid. He wouldn't be so bad if he didn't consciously choose to be so obnoxious. Josh was interesting and unique. He understood things about you, in ways Neku's other friends couldn't. Sure Rhyme could be smart, but only in a book sort of way. Shiki was nice, but seemed to get fabric better than she got people. Beat was good for a laugh (and a push into the water), but otherwise was a lost cause. It made Neku feel lonely and wish he were on better terms with Joshua. What was that he said? _Only by letting others in can we find new ways to be ourselves._ Something like that.

Another one of his sighs. "What happened is a thing of the past." He sat up straighter and folded his hands on his lap daintily. "But I'm willing to do anything to make you happy." A sly smirk. This was normal Josh again. It was near impossible to tell whether or not he was kidding. "So, Neku? What do you want me to say?"

"Oh I don't know," Neku replied, "How about something like, 'Gee, Neku, I'm sorry I shot you in the face a while ago, that was awfully mean of me. Gosh, Neku, I'm sorry I keep using you as a pawn in my silly mind games." He glared at Josh. "Golly, Neku, I'm sorry I'm such a total freaking douche bag sometimes, I—"

"That's quite enough, thank you." Josh took his sweet time pondering what Neku had said, gazing all around the room, at the walls, at the fish, at the _fucking cocktail table,_ at the door - just when was Mr. H. coming back, he wondered, - until finally he focused once more on Neku's charming, convulsing, angry face.

"Alright," he shrugged, "I'll give this my best shot." He cleared his throat. "You're someone I really care about, Neku," Josh sighed, dramatically as always. "I hate to see you so hurt. But… I guess that's my fault, isn't it?" He smiled and laughed a little. "Everything's always my fault. So I _suppose _that _maybe_ I'm just the _teensiest_ bit sorry. But you wouldn't understand what has to be done in the name of mankind, I'm afraid. I'm _sort of _sorry my grand scheme of things got in the way of your _terribly busy and all-important_ agenda." He hesitated. "But at the very least… all that quality time has made me very fond of you." A flicker of awkward Josh. "So I'm _so_ sorry." Neku softened a little. "I really don't see why I should be apologizing though." He regretted it. "But I'm sorry."

Josh sighed again. "That work for you?"

It was then that Neku noticed what little space there was between them, as Joshua had leaned forward quite a bit and was practically in his face. He suddenly became conscious of the fact he wasn't wearing a shirt, and shivered.

"Hello? Neku? Earth to Neku. I did what you asked for."

"Yeah, Josh, I'm here, just—"

He laughed his annoying Joshua laugh. "You're red as a tomato, Neku. You look priceless. But anyway. I apologized, and now you have to hold up your end of the bargain. Say you're sorry, Neku. Unless, of course, you're _still_ not satisfied."

"Josh, could you get out of my face—"

He put the back of his hand to his forehead. "Neku, Neku, Neku. You're _still _not happy?" he whined a la Rarity. Their noses were practically touching, though Joshua seemed unphased by this.

"Josh – "

"Why is it that humans are so needy? All I wanted was an apology, and you keep _demanding things from me,_ Neku. Really, now. Have some… compassion."

"What are you—"

All he heard was more of that annoying giggling before Josh was on his lips in a (now extremely fast) heartbeat. Unfortunately, it is a well known fact to the scientific community that Nekus are not very good kissers, but that twenty-something-year-old Composers making moves on minors are. So Joshua led the way entirely, wrapping his arms around Neku's bare back and pulling him onto his lap. His soft lips moved down to Neku's jaw as he caressed his body with his manicured Joshua hands (with pink nails, of course ;D).

Neku, to the surprise of Neku, used his hands not to give Josh a good deserving surprise slap in the face, but rather to work through the strands of his hair. He realized why Josh bothered giving it the salon treatment every day, because the stuff fell through his fingers like water. _Soft, fluffy, lint-colored water_.

"Apology accepted," Josh whispered into his ear, then giggled, before pushing him back to the table, forcefully ending the kiss the moment Mr. H. walked back in. They both sat and faced him, Josh with a convincingly innocent face and Neku with the look of someone who nearly just got hit by a train. This was something like normal Josh and awkward Josh at the same time. Double awkward Josh.

Mr. H. was pleasantly surprised. "Oh look, you two didn't kill each other. Friends again?"

"Best friends. We spent some quality time, didn't we, Neku? Though I'm glad you arrived when you did. Neku was getting a little out of hand here," Josh smirked, winking at Neku, who was too traumatized to make any remarks. He stood up and brushed past Mr. H., headed towards the door. Josh looked back over his shoulder and added playfully, "By the way, Neku: I never actually stole your headphones. I hid them under your bed. Really now, if you were just a bit more observant, then perhaps this whole thing may have never happened. And wouldn't that have been a shame? Anyway now, ta ta."

The boy exchanged astonished looks with the Producer, who then shrugged and let out a loud, raspy laugh. "I love that kid sometimes," he said.


	4. The Part Where EPILOGUE

Wordlessly, Neku closed the door to his room and flopped onto his bed. He wasn't quite sure what happened, only that, were he Beat, he would be going something like, "BWAAAAAAH!" right now. But he was Neku, and it's a well-known fact to the scientific community that Nekus are Nekus and Beats are Beats and aside from the number of letters in their names, there's not much similarity between them.

It was only after an hour of rolling over, trying to fall asleep, did he remember what Josh had said. Neku fell artlessly off his bed and stuck an arm underneath it to see what he could find. There wasn't much under there: a couple CDs, a few trading cards, a box of old grade school stuff, a sock or two. He felt no headphones, but eventually his fingers made contact with a piece of paper. He pulled it out to see what it was.

The pink Post-It note read:

"Dearest Neku,

One would not be far off were you to compare, say, trust, to products made in China. Both can be found very easily and for relatively cheap price, but both are just as easily broken. Also sometimes trust gets one's panties in a bundle, kind of like mass-produced, factory-made Chinese finger traps, which are fun to play with and have stripes on them. (Stripes are my favorite, you see.)

And so, it is in a conscious misunderstanding of trust and the maintenance thereof that I have fibbed about the location of your missing possessions, one set of headphones, and will see you tomorrow at the beach if you wish to receive them.

Joshua

P.S. Just us this time."

AND THEN THEY PASSIONED.

Also Sho was a douchebag to more children. 


End file.
